Jesus’s hotline is open 24/7

I am on the plane back to Dubai writing this, with my jaw dropped in awe on the goodness and faithfulness of my Lord Jesus Christ.

It got back to me, that day, when I was panicking from my work seat two weeks ago, when I was told about the doctor’s critical remarks regarding my mom’s deteriorating condition. Her whole body was swollen and she was really in pain, with no definite diagnosis yet. My tears fell and I felt the urge to do what seems necessary – to give her time and care.

I asked Ben and without second thoughts, supported my desire, setting aside budget constraints, longingness implications ahead and our family time.

As I booked the ticket that afternoon to fly by night, I already received favors starting with the swift work turn over and getting an advance pay, which will be very helpful for the impending bills.

I reached Manila wearied from that work week and sleep deprivation sneaks in day after day on my entire duration, but His grace, undoubtedly, had been abundant day after day too.

Apart from His healing mercy and power which we have genuinely experienced on every development and backing them off with favorable laboratory and procedure results, I will treasure those little cry moments of heartfelt conversation, recalling my bitter sweet relationship with my mom and how misunderstood is she and capping it off with understanding, forgiveness, respect and love.

My heart still cries to date on every prayer we spent together as a family and most especially, when my mom re-submitted her life to Christ on one of our mundane moments together, making the trip beyond worthy.

We are also grateful for the provisions. We could have not paid all our outstanding, if not by the provisions He provided and all the resources that He opened.

To Him, who makes all things for the good of those who love Him, be the glory, honor and thanksgiving!

She is slowly getting better here

One of our rare video call as there is no wifi in the hospital

This is the us on waiting nanay to be discharged at midnight

Here’s is nanay at home on her bed, before my departure

P.S.

I will continually stand on your faithfulness, ability to consistently heal and renew all things- including her strength, appetite and drive. Cannot wait to see her sit by her own again, stand, walk and probably cook again because we really miss her cooking badly.

Soar high!

I flew via paragliding and for a time, experienced such awe and liberty. I must conclude though, that the awe and liberty I have experienced in paragliding were temporal.

Flew above Nepal’s Pokhara mountains, valley and Phewa Lake

I realized that my admiration with Jesus and His works does not take off and rest in thirty minutes or an hour of flight- it lies in every breath, every good health, every food on our table, every provisions, every relationships, every open doors, every development of my son, every hugs and kisses, every peaceful going in and going out, every prosperity of the land, every fruitful crops and even in every testings that produces hope and perseverance.

Moreover, my freedom with Him does not depend on wind conditions- it will not go off if the weather is not clear or sturdy. Fact is, I am always liberated any time of the day with Him. I have in my heart the gift of joy, hope, peace and love that doesn’t run dry, for as long as I pant on Him-the Source.

Lastly, human control is very risky and can actually be detrimental to life. May I desire no direction nor control from any men than from the Giver of the wind Himself- because He knows where the wind will go. May I always trust that His plans is always to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me hope and a future.

Soar high with Jesus, beloved!

Prideful Me

I know a kid who struggles with apology. She can take a whole day just to say the word “sorry” and it often leave me in desperation and a ton of whys, but when I was living the married life, I, too, struggle with apology. I often grieve the Spirit and not bend in apology and swallow my pride. I am blessed, however, that my husband is very giving. He often pursues me and say sorry, even if he is not at fault, but I really want to improve on this attribute. I know I needed to, first to walk the talk, to become a good role model to my son and to put on the same to others.

I believe in my heart that God knows that I am struggling with pride, in general. I am selfish and often think first of my convenience, my joy, my best and how to elevate myself over others. Sadly, I often want to take more than I want to give, and this isn’t God’s design, especially, for relationships. Don’t get me wrong, I do not discount the fact that it is very okay to think of our self, but there is a thick line between this and being selfish.

I acknowledge that I am still a work in progress, and I know too, that His strength will be made perfect in my weakness. His grace will be abundant to do every good work.

As CS Lewis said, humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.

To the DAD who’s always there

Dear Dada,

Provider goes beyond financial support- it is providing the more needed spiritual support by being a leader in prayer and worship. It is also providing the physical and emotional support by being available and expressing your love often. Thank you for being a good one, Love/Dada.

I want to honor you both as a father to Lucas and a husband to me, for too many reasons, but these are my few whys:

• You don’t care being called a “houseband” until we get a decent offer and you gladly do all the chores while you look after our dear Lucas. And you juggle it well with a part time too, to help ease our bills. Seriously, you are awesome!
• In our every day, you may sleep tight and can sleep in a minute or less (which I envy. A lot), once you have laid your back, but you will also get up at any time- even if it means 3am to attend to our child or get me a water and you will always make sacrificial ways to give me that decent sleep- even if it means sleeping out of the bed, so I will not be bothered by your snore. 😊
• You cook well yet open for constructive criticisms.
• You don’t complain on me biting you like Lucas does as lambing. Do not change your laughter. I love it when you ran out of breath on tickles. Haha.
• You don’t get tired from all my favors. Haha! – to get this and that, do this and that, even if at times, I, myself is irritated on my demands and I perceive myself as a difficult wife.
• You don’t get bored giving me a body massage, on my request- even if it means every night. No complaints.
• You actively sit down to plan, dream and write faith goals with me, for our future. I look forward to the unknown, knowing you are with us on every valleys and mountains, with God of course.

The list can go on but no amount of words can suffice how grateful we are having you around.

Happy Father’s Day, Dada. We love you loads.

 

From your two babies,

Arris and Lucas xx

I put my hope in the Lord on 2019

Why us? I asked Ben in tears when I got overwhelmed with our state several times this year – his elusive job contract and visa to date, the impending bills with our baby to feed, sending them back home on Feb and the thought of missing few milestones of our firstborn, the loss of my biggest client after only few days of getting them back in Dubai on July, the weekly sales meetings accompanied with the hefty pressure to deliver relevant figures, the declining team spirit at work, Ben’s lingering exit every three months to renew his visa, the tough qualifications to live as a family here in Dubai and a few more others in between. Sigh. Makes me want to sing, wake me up when December ends.

Certainly, this year is one for the books. A bumpy yet a beautiful journey because for one, we had our biggest blessing on January- Lucas, our darling; second, we realized and identified God to be more giving in what seems to be a drought- having acquired a property back home and exceeded my sales target in such a season when economic slowdown is very evident in all viewpoints; third, we grew in prayer like never before and gained a gem of friends who faithfully prayed for us too and lastly, the testing of our faith really produced perseverance which developed our character and strengthened our hope (in God).

Although our main prayer has not yet been answered to date, we received several indirect blessings which profited us in a probably, more lasting effect than our current need.

If it were only me and my selfish nature, I would have rant and got offended from the struggles He has been throwing, but since I have Jesus in me and His strength is perfect in my weakness, I am in the process of rejoicing in all circumstances- be it prosperity or adversity.

I am really not sure how 2019 will be but I am certain that God will never change. He is faithful, loving, compassionate, merciful, caring, generous and more-than-able Father. Not one second will He leave me nor forsake me.

I put my hope in the Lord. He is my help and my shield. In Him, my heart rejoices, for I trust His Holy name. Let Your unfailing love surround me for my hope is in You alone.

Significant People of my 2018

As each year closes, I plan to list down noteworthy people from that year and how they impacted my life.

Here are my lists for twenty eighteen:

Our dearest Lucas

You have changed my life since coming to this world on January and my heart is filled with inexplicable joy since then.

I thank the Lord you were a very easy baby in my tummy and you didn’t give me a hard time. I only had back pains, but the rest of the pregnancy was a breeze except the labor time which is the longest sixteen hours of my life 😊 I even continued to work until 36 weeks, didn’t really have any cravings and I never got sick. Praise be to God.

I nurture all the joy and the frustrations early on since becoming first time parents. It made us a team. A strong team.

I’m blessed because you have an awesome daddy! He does almost everything and is super hands on. You will be blessed having him by your side too, growing up.

As I write this, you are just few days far from turning one and I am emotional. You deserve another entry for that.

The one whom my soul loves, Ben

I am blessed to have this man to take me as his wife. To have and to hold, to love and to cherish all the days of our lives.

I am not an easy wife, I know, but you keep choosing to love me along with my flaws. Thank you for your humility, for being sorry even for the things you should not be sorry for. Thank you for pursuing me every day and for always trying to love me as Christ loved His church.

We love you and we thank God for your life every day.

 

My in-laws, Borja Family

I am blessed to have loving and praying in laws.

I thank God when Ben’s younger brother stood up and secure a job to help us ease on the finances.

I thank mama for assisting Ben at the time when we were apart for four months. Those are the growing months of Lucas where milestones are happening fast. I thank God because Lucas found a mother in her presence at those times.

Campos Family

This family has impacted us, far more than they know. Their relentless faith tops the list among many other good attributes. We were blessed to be trusted and get a glimpse of few of their life challenges. We saw how they made a choice to keep praising God in whatever circumstances they are in – be it in scarce or abundance. Their decision to glorify God supersedes the temperatures of their hearts and I know that God will credit their faith. It fascinates me to this date.

It is also through them that we learned to adopt someone in prayer and rally with them faithfully. Our hearts rejoice with them in their every breakthrough and cries with them in every hiccup because they are the fruits of our prayers.

We love this family. We appreciate every blessing they uttered to us, as well as prophecies declared, especially to our dear Lucas and his future.

We can’t wait to see their reward and their desires being met by our more than able God.

Intercessory Team

We appreciate this ministry a lot whose members cries to God for strangers they haven’t even met, nations they haven’t even stepped in, at times.

These people are mostly unseen but heard by God. These people are mountain movers, faith filled, Spirit driven and Word empowered team.

We look forward to seeing and hearing more prayers being answered soon. I know that our prayers go beyond generations.

Nalyn Santos

One of the most generous people I know. I commend this friend of mine for selflessly sharing her time, energy, money and love to our family. I feel guilty for the times I fall short of reciprocating all her generosity.

We pray that she will always find her completeness in God and never will she feel alone and unloved. We pray that she will find whom her soul loves on 2019 😊

Just the thought of being far from her makes me sad as she plans to go back to Philippines soon.

Sales and Production Team

These people are the people I work with every day.

I thank God for these people who helped me achieve my set roles and beyond. They became a family.

There are days we are fussy, but the team spirit supersedes all the offenses.

Mabini Family

Another generous people.

They are always there for us and their tiniest gestures are appreciated.

I remember they adopted me on my loneliest time when I left my husband and son for four months last summer. It is hard to pass even one day without them and the Mabini kids are my delight those days, making me not count the time.

Ate has always been there too. In highs and lows of 2018.

I do not say it often, but I love this family. I know God will bless them in return.

Blessed is an Understatement

21^st of January is a day that will be embedded in my heart forever. The day I gave birth to our beautiful boy, Lucas Bien.

All of God’s creation were indeed good, I figured the moment I felt that he miraculously made it out of me. Then it became more apparent at the moment I have laid my eyes on him and heard his beautiful sob. However, holding him first time was magical. It displaces my seventeen tiring hours of labor.

The moment Lucas came out of me with our umbilical cord still intact

You are beautiful, Lucas

I’ve been in a never ending awe since then.

Fast forward today, it still makes me wonder on how God came up with His choices. I know in my heart that I am unworthy of this commission. Considering my past, I was unworthy. An angry, narrow-minded daughter who keeps on wondering why did her mom gave her away to be raised in a relative’s home. Somebody who wants to do good in everything because she wanted to prove that her mom was wrong. A faithful pleaser and someone who is frightened to fail. Someone who is thirsty of attention and affirmations of love. Someone who was very insecure from the rejection she got from her own blood and who was unsure of her identity. Somebody who gets her security from other people’s description of her.

I am however glad that the God whom I serve do not show favoritism. My past were never qualifications for this commission, as well as my blessings. Especially, in light of the gift of family.

Our first family pics when I told Ben I was positive

Mommy at work driving with her growing belly

Gender reveal

VCF’s Volunteers Appreciation Day

Mom and Dad’s last Christmas as a couple and not a parent

Mom and Dad’s last prayer and fasting as a couple

I did not only find redemption in Him but forgiveness, compassion and most of all, love. It covered all my heartaches and why’s- enabling me to love and to forgive too, without seeking one in return.

It also amazes on how God matches and personally write our love stories. How He saw a perfect balance with my husband, Ben, who grew opposite as mine. Who loves and being loved by his family. However, He is the same God who did not gave him a workload during my pregnancy, not because He doesn’t care of our needs but because in Ben’s availability, I will find a greater provision from Him – an affection, acceptance, service and love I have long to experience. These are only few things which money cannot afford. Oh, He is the sweetest!

You can’t blame gravity for falling in love

Love is never fails

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Marriage is beautiful

Now that I am witnessing my baby’s milestones day after day, no matter how little are they, it constantly stun me to see the grace of God at work. He is indeed the Author of everything- the wisdom and the love we can give because He first loved us.

Smile

Yawn

Adorbs!

Lucas on his bouncer

Kissing mommy

On of the many wakeful mid nights

I love you big time, daddy!

Aw, so heart melting!

Mommy can smell you all day

It excites me to look forward for greater things from Him. All the praises and glory to Jesus.

I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well- Psalm 139:14

Our last day on our Al Owais Flat

Vitamin D time

Mom and Dad’s post first anniversary and my first month Lunch out

Midnight duties of mom

 

Vitamin D time

Lucas and his first wedding to attend at almost two months

The will can function despite the temperature of the heart

“The will can function despite the temperature of the heart”- Corrie Ten Boom

This is true on Lucas’s dedication. I remember Pastor Gerry has asked us a few questions then, but I went silent when he asked us in case the Lord will call him to serve Him one day, will you promise to commit and not prohibit him?

My heart breaks and the selfish me cannot utter the one syllable word YES.

I believe in my heart that He is God’s and we are blessed to be his entrusted parents on earth but the selfish me wants him just mine.

I repented and eventually said yes.

I know that His grace will always be sufficient, and Jesus will always be our strength and refuge.

I have the Spirit not of fear but of power, love and self-control. Besides, love conquers all, and it shall cover distance.

If this leading will bring others to the Truth, as well as bring glory to Your name, use him, Lord. Send us to be your workers in the field.

Besides, our utmost objective as his parents is not to give him the best of life but of him to reach and serve the purpose God chose Him from the beginning.

Love does not envy

Today marks Ben and I’s first month as a husband and wife. Although, I must say that it is mostly happy, it is also true that there were several hurdles on our journey, by far and I am sure that there are many more to come on our next months and years together soon.

Ben and I came from a long-distance relationship and it is by faith that we get married last month, when we finally heard a confirmation from God. And now that we are finally living the life under one roof, the different personality of each other is all exposed and is mostly reluctant from one another. At least, as for me. Haha.

The selfish, arrogant me is finally on the limelight.

I will not deny that I pondered a few times, if I will make it to the end or if it is the right decision I plunged myself into. Haha! But, of course, I am committed to this marriage. I burned every U-turns and exits at the moment I have decided to wed, by the abundant grace of God.

I was reminded last night, after an irritation, that love should not envy. It should be kind, patient, shall not boast nor shall be proud. But these verses are easier said than done. I was asking God for grace and I want Him to set my heart right.

I was quarreling with my own heart if why the selfish me is envious of his time? Or of his cellphone? or of his attention, in general? I was trying to prove a point that I didn’t see him the whole day I was in work and evening is just our little time together. And to see him ignoring me, annoys me big time.

Why on the deepest part of my heart, I want him to respond like me, do things like me or at least, be as sensitive like me? But after all these pondering, I was reminded of what our pastor imparted on our wedding-that we are two different people, which means two different personality united by God,to be one.

It is unfair to change Ben to please me. It is not my job, but God’s, to set his attitude and personality right, for His glory.

At once, I was reminded by the Spirit, is this argument honoring Jesus? Does my pride honor Him or makes this relationship lovely? I held my pride for a few minutes more, but my heart is crying. I want to turn and hug him. To be the first to say sorry but my arrogant heart is still reluctant. I am thankful, however, that Ben did not wait any longer and hugged me first. He even said sorry, even if I am being unreasonable. I was consoled at once and tried to share my point. Thank God for the gift of communication.

I know that we have lots to go, probably, various hills and mountains to conquer as a couple, but with Christ who strengthens us, we can always do all things. Victor all things.

I will at 30

I’m thirty and I can’t believe it. Oh, my God!

I remember being a little depressed around same time last year due to an age anxiety and a failed relationship altogether, however, this year is way different. For one, I am welcoming another year, with a new surname and hey, an expectant, joyful heart. Wohoo!

This year, I have decided in my heart to live what Pia had once told me, that I must be excited on birthdays- because if we can wish and be expectant from our earthly fathers on our birthday, how much more will our Father in heaven be more than willing to reward His beloved?! Make sense, right?

My last 365 days had been awesome, although, of course, I also had my share of extreme bumps and turns too. I must testify, however, that indeed, all things work for the good of those who love Him. Had not God allowed that little wandering of mine to take place, I would have not praised and adored Him like I do today.

And now that I will begin a new journey with a more mature set of eyes and perspective, I am determined to be wiser from this day onward.

I will get rid of my memories of defeats, offenses and sorrows and I will think of lovely things often.

I will practice how to say NO and I will stop chasing the doors which were shut for my good.

I will not stop dreaming. In fact, I will think of bigger things and chase them with faith and perseverance.

I will travel and chase adventure every now and then. I will appreciate the world and its complexities.

I will smile often. I will talk to strangers and do baby steps in talking to people I don’t seem to like. I will love. I will seek forgiveness. I will build bridges. I will make friends.

I will kiss. I will hug. I will say sincere I love you’s.

I will pray like a child and I will move from my position of rest and victory.

I must attest with conviction and tears that indeed, God is faithful! In fact, even if we are faithless, He still remains faithful-for He cannot deny himself (2Timothy 2:13).

Few of His faithfulness on my last 365 days are extreme generosity to be able to visit 4 new countries (Sri Lanka, Cambodia, Vietnam and Thailand); mercy to provide opportunities to nail my last sales target despite our bad economic situation; provisions for a month-long vacation in Manila, after two long years of being overseas; abounding grace to marry the man I prayed and love just last month; and many other small and big blessings in between.

Elephant Sanctuary in Sri Lanka

Angkor Wat in Cambodia

Waited for sunrise in Angkor Wat in Cambodia

Toured around the orchards, paddy fields and swamplands of the Mekong Delta in Vietnam

War Remnants Museum in Vietnam

The pink ones indicates the names of those who pledges for the temple in vietnam

About to cliff dive in Chiang Mai, Thailand

With the monks in Thailand

I love everything nature in Chiang Mai in Thailand. This is one of 10 waterfalls on this nature park alone.

Temple Buddha in Thailand

Nothing beats street foods!!!

Mango salad in Thailand. Yum!

God is faithful to bless me of someone after His heart

 

 

This is 30. This is when life begins.

Gracias!